As you probably hadn’t noticed I haven’t written anything for a week. Last week was a tough one; my future replacement at work started the job and embarrassingly enough she’s probably already just as good at it as I am, I had last minute dental and optical appointments, I’m trying to get somebody to buy my furniture and I had to say my final goodbyes to a number of family members. I have to say I was quite surprised at how well everybody held up especially with regards to my Dad; he’s a man’s-man by trade but the Italian blood does lead to un-announced tirades of emotion from time to time.
In the words of Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys 2;
“S*it just got real!”
Like UFC real. Don’t get me wrong the fact that halfway through next month I’m flying to the other side of Planet Earth in search of bungee jumps, full moon parties, alcohol, fornication, street food, people with dread-locks that badly play guitar around campfires and maybe a teaching job was just as real 9 weeks ago as it is now. However the key difference is that back then it was a cushy 12 weeks away. Now its 3 weeks away and I’m starting to understand how pretty much everybody that stepped into the ring with Mike Tyson before 1996 must have felt 3 weeks before their dance with destiny.
In order to add further convolution to the situation talk is arising of changes to visa rules in “The Land of Smiles” and in typical fashion the embassies are being about as much use as an inflatable dartboard when it comes to confirming or denying the rumours; they can do neither.
Far from this writer to rant, actually who am I kidding he rants all the time, but the lack of clarity and simple communication skill being displayed is concerning and a little irritating when I think about it. Which now that I think about it is actually kind of a problem for me because I think about things a lot!
I think about what I’m going to eat, what I’m going to drink, what I’m going to wear, where I’m going to go and whether I’ll stand-up or treat myself to a sit-down this time. Honestly, Alexander the Great drew up Macedonian battle plans that were less detailed than the imaginary schematic in my head that outlines my trip from the bed to the bathroom every morning.
Ironically (here it comes) this issue got me thinking and something along the lines of ‘Man…Things never go the way I plan them…’ entered my over-worked cranium. Which is funny because surely the original reason why I and, I’d like to think others, over-think situations is so they can fore-see potential issues and swat them before they become just that. Yet here I am still thinking about how plans always go awry regardless.
There are people who know me that would probably tell you that I suffer from an inflated ego but they’d be wrong…I’m not suffering. All joking aside I am more than capable of noticing flaws in my mental make-up, so to speak, and am working on changing them and I can’t help but feel that such over-thinking may be one of those flaws.
I’ve spent the last few days panicking over these visa issues (relax, I promise I’m not going to go into them here!) and stressing over what I’m going to do in response. Yet ultimately these changes are not the end of the world and I even have a back-up plan in place to minimise the potential damages but what I’m realising is that whether I worry or not whatever comes to pass will do so regardless. Over-thinking and panicking about things won’t stop them from happening. The Prime Minister of Thailand has never heard of Anthony Bozzola and never will, unless my mediocre at best music career goes through an unprecedented and frankly undeserving revival, and if the law gets passed it will get passed without even a second thought to my mind-state or how it will impact me.
What last week has also shown me is that I’m actually at my happiest when I’m not over-thinking things. The Friday before last me and several family members sat in the pub all evening getting plastered whilst joking and laughing and I could not have been happier. The Saturday that just passed saw a similar scenario with my Dad and during both occasions I was fully in the moment. The worries mentioned above were as present then as they are now but I was able to treat them with a laissez-faire attitude and pawn them off to the side if only for a while.
Is it bad to think about things and make plans, absolutely not? Without planning and thinking this upcoming adventure wouldn’t be happening. It’s just important to keep it in moderation and realise that over-thinking something can be non-constructive and end up making an issue look like a gigantic, furious fire-breathing dragon when in actual fact it’s medium sized, a bit p*ssed off and is actually a Chi Wawa.
Reacting constructively to a situation, which I have done, helps to nullify and minimise its impact. Over-thinking and worrying about it makes me the guy in the office that people feel the need to say a silent prayer to themselves before asking to do stuff and gives me the type of bags under my eyes that I could probably use to bring Bangkok back to the UK with me. Drumming this behaviour out of my DNA will be no easy feat but I do believe it’s one that’s worth trying and one that will make my travels and my life in general more enjoyable.
I’m Tha Bozz and that’s my opinion.